After having just spoken to yet another member of the Biochemistry Department's faculty, I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely hate biochemistry and cannot stand most of the people I've met who have chosen to devote their lives to this unfortunate field of study. During the entire time I was speaking with this certain professor, I couldn't help but think about boring I thought his class was, how uninterested I was in the subject material/how much I didn't give a f---, and how much I thought this person failed at being an effective teacher.
The people who work in the science departments at my school are by far some of the rudest people on campus. With the exception of a small handful (I'm talking about like 2-3) of my biology professors, most of the professors here really don't give a damn about your learning, because they are here mainly to conduct research and are being forced to "teach" classes. I also think that many of these people have gotten to become such assholes because they're so used to everybody sucking up to them (not only their students, but the university, as well), so that whenever anybody tries to speak to them without falling over themselves to kiss the professors' ass, the professor feels inclined to brush the person off completely, like a bug, sitting on the edge of his or her soup bowl.
This makes my life difficult because I suck at lying/complimenting people when I don't feel like they deserve it. I'm not good at making shit up "on the spot," and am not a very eloquent speaker. At all. So even if I could come up with “something” to say, it'd still be obvious that I was lying because I'd be stumbling all over my words by the time I'd mustered the courage to finally let everything out. However, what I can say is this: I give compliments carefully, and when I do compliment people, I am certain that I've said was genuinely meant (and well-deserved). I think I've maintained this personal "policy" because I've come to find that if you lie to people and try to fool yourself into believing that your fake-compliments are real, you will only get sucked into a world made out of delusional bull s---, and nothing you say will be worth anything anymore.
Anyway, I'd much rather be doing Microbiology, or sociology, or communications, or theater, or linguistics, or literature, or music ... or something, where the people I've met have been very easy to talk to (you can speak to them like human beings!), seem genuinely concerned about their students' learning, and teach their classes with the agenda of inciting a passion within their students for their respective fields of study. This is how classes should be taught, this should be the main function of an education provider. This is how a university, a center of "higher" education, should be run.
Moving along now...
This quarter has been going pretty well, academically speaking, I guess. So far? I'm only taking three classes this time around (as compared to the 5-6 I attempted to complete in the Fall), so I've been having much more time to focus on my courses, and feel a little less emotionally spread-out. However, because of these Bio classes, I was forced to drop the only music class that I was taking this quarter, and as a result, I feel like I've sold my soul to the ugly world of science. I think the only reason I've managed to stay [somewhat] sane over the past year and a half was because I'd always had some sort of a music class to balance out all of the stress and physical havoc my chemistry classes wreaked on my body and mind. Unfortunately, it is already 4th Week, meaning that it is much too late for me re-add any classes. I am now left with nothing to look forward to every morning, and find myself feeling quite miserable whenever I need to walk through Mandeville (the music building) to get to my laboratory class.
I now lead a very bleak and boring life, and I've only got myself to blame. This makes me sad. :(
And extremely frustrated. -Yargh! >:(
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